We all know that Jesus was based on Pagan myths, right?
Well, most of us. Jesus is based on Pagan gods that preceded Him such as
Adonis, Osirus, Mithra and Horus. For example, Mithra was born of a rock in a
cave. Rocks can’t have sexual relations with anyone, so Mithra was clearly born
of a virgin just like Jesus. Jesus was born of a virgin. Yes, the total
difference is that Jesus’ virgin mother is a human and Mithra’s mother was a
rock. But don’t let that dramatic difference fool you. Both are virgin births.
Therefore, Jesus’ birth narrative was clearly copied from this Pagan myth.
Horus fought his father’s arch enemy and lost an eye! How could anyone not
see the similarity this has to Jesus’ death on a Roman cross? They’re
practically the same story!
But did you also know that there are plenty of clearly
fictious stories that ripped off Christianity which ripped off these earlier
pagan myths? Oh yeeeeaaah! Things like the Superman comics/movies, Dragon
Ball-Z, Frosty The Snowman, and Pokemon: The First Movie. All these stories rip
their content right from the pages of the Christian scriptures. Now, you might
be thinking “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve watched these
movies and cartoons. I don’t see any relation that these have to the gospel
stories of Jesus at all?” Well then, you must not have been paying much
attention, my friend. It’s just so obvious; I wonder how anyone with half a
brain cell could miss it.
1: Superman Is Based On
Jesus Christ
First, let’s talk about the famous super hero; Superman.
Superman bears a lot of common traits with Jesus which makes the premise
that Superman is based on Jesus irrefutable.
First, let’s look at the life of Jesus,
1: Jesus has two different Fathers, God and Mary’s husband
Joseph.
2: Jesus grew up on Earth but is actually from an entirely
different world (i.e Heaven)
3: Jesus displayed powers that no one else had. He performed
acts no one else could do (Raise the dead, make blind people see, make deaf
people hear, make the lame walk, walk on water, etc. etc. etc.)
4: Jesus died to save everyone, but later was seen alive.
5: Jesus left but promised to return again some day.
SUPERMAN
1: Has two different fathers. One from the planet Krypton,
the other, a human in Smallville USA.
2: Superman grew up on Earth but actually came from an
entirely different world (i.e The Planet Krypton)
3: Superman displayed powers that no one else had. He
performed acts no one else could do (Fly, leap over tall buildings, run faster
than a train, shoot lasers from his eyes, not get injured from bullets etc.)
4: In “Superman Doomsday”, Superman apparently died trying
to save everyone from a genetically engineered super solider named Doomsday. But later, he was seen
alive.
5: Superman left Earth for a while but promised to come
back, which he did in the movie “Superman Returns”
Clearly the writers of the Superman series had Jesus in mind
when they wrote this series. The similarities prove it. Yes, there are A LOT
of differences compared to the similarities. In fact, there are probably more
differences than there are things they have in common. But don’t let that stop
you from believing what I want you to believe. Superman was copied from Jesus.
2: Goku from Dragon Ball-Z
is based on Jesus.
The anime series Dragon Ball-Z was very popular a while back,
and it’s still a popular anime series among Otakus like myself even to this
day. But for some odd reason, hardly anyone thinks the character Goku is based
on Jesus from The Bible. Why is that? It’s hard to see why. After all:
1: Jesus came from another world.
2: Jesus died trying to save the ones He loves.
3: Jesus rose from the dead by the power of God.
Goku:
1: Came from another world (Goku is a Saiyan originally sent
to Earth as an infant).
2: Goku died trying to save the ones he loved.
3: He is later brought back to life by the power of the
Dragon Balls.
This clearly parallel’s Jesus. Now, don’t get distracted by
all the differences, such as Goku being sent to Earth by his home planet with
the intent on having him grow up and use his powers to destroy humans rather
than save them (God intended Jesus to be the Savior of humans from the very
beginning), or that Jesus died only once and was brought back to life only once
whereas Goku died and was brought back to life on 3 different occasions, or
that Jesus never got married and had children who inherited His divine powers….as
Goku did. The similarities (few as they are) absolutely prove that Goku was
copied from Jesus. They may as well call the anime “Bible Ball-Z”.
3: Frosty The Snowman Is
Based on Jesus.
Have you ever noticed how Frosty The Snowman is similar to
Jesus? Frosty was birthed from a magic hat that belonged to a magician. I’m
guessing that hat never had sexual relations with anyone. Hats aren’t the kind
of thing that can engage in coitus. Therefore, it must have been a virgin
birth! Frosty died and came back to life! Frosty melted next to a fire by
trying to save the life of a young girl who was going to freeze to death. Jesus
died in order to save us! But then…Santa Claus comes along and uses
Christmas magic to resurrect Frosty! God The Father brought Jesus back to life
with His divine powers! Do you see the similarities? Clearly a copy of Jesus. Clearly!
The writers of the song and the Christmas special based on the song obviously
had Jesus Christ at the forefront of their mind when writing this. Their
motivation for doing so was likely to secretly spread the gospel.
But I’m not done yet. Frosty “waved goodbye, saying
‘don’t you cry, I’ll be back again some day’!” Frosty left his friends to
be at the North Pole, but he promised that he would come back again. They’re
not even trying to hide it at this point in the story. This is obviously
based on Jesus’ ascension and second coming!
4: Pokemon The First Movie
Ash Ketchum in the first Pokemon movie is based on Jesus.
Sort of. The character himself isn’t based on Jesus, but what happened to him
near the end of the movie clearly resembled the doctrines of Jesus’ sacrifical
death and resurrection. When Mew and Mewtwo were trying to kill each other,
both readying their most powerful attacks, Ash ran between them to stop them at
the very moment they both fired their psychic energy blasts. Ash gets turned to
stone. The tears of all the Pokemon brought him back to life. Wait? Tears revived
a person who died by being turned to stone? Sounds like a…you guessed it: a miracle.
Jesus gave up His life to save us. And Jesus was revived miraculously.
Again, don’t focus on all of the things that don’t resemble
Jesus at all; because they’re overly abundant. If you focus on all the things
they don’t have in common, you might not believe my absurd I-I-I mean
plausible hypothesis.
Satire Over
Ok, obviously I don’t believe anything I’ve said up until
this point. I’m clearly ridiculing the hypothesis that the biblical narratives
of Jesus are based on pagan myths. I want to make it clear that I am NOT
trying to belittle people who have been deceived into believing this nonsense.
The point of this post is to show (in a humorous way), that you can take
superficial similarities from anything, compare them, and conclude that
one is copied from the other. I’ve just done that with these fictional
characters and Jesus Christ. I’ve employed the exact same logic Christ
mythicists use when they argue against the the historicity of the resurrection by
pointing to all of these superficial similaries between Jesus and gods from
different pagan myths. I’ve ignored the over abundance of differences between
them, only looked at the similarities and concluded that the creators of all
these works of fiction were intentionally borrowing from The Bible. It’s the
same argument my friend, the same logic, just different characters!
If we wouldn’t conclude that Superman, Frosty The Snowman,
Goku, or Ash Ketchum were based on Jesus, why would we conclude that Jesus is
based on all these different pagan gods? The similarities between the pagan
gods and Jesus is very superficial and the differences between them far
outweigh what few similarities there are. Some of these things that are claimed
to be similarities are very pitiful when you seriously investigate them, such
as Jesus being born of a virgin human girl and Mithras being born of a rock. I
guess you could say both the rock and Mary are virgins and therefore you have a
virgin birth. But to me that seems as legitimate as looking at Frosty’s origin
story and claiming “That hat never had sex! It gave life to Frosty! Virgin
birth! Virgin birth! Frosty The Snowman is based on Jesus who is based on
Mithra!”
It’s a ridiculous argument. This is why it’s only popular
among layperson atheists. You’ll never see atheist scholars in the field of
ancient history promoting any of this stuff. They know better.
Anyway, my reductio ad absurdum is complete.